To Seek Love or To Seek Ruin
by ferret assassin nin
Summary: Katrina has a hard enough life, but when her father comes back, will she be able to handle the pressure? Revenge is sweet and bitter, but can love be better? Ren x OC real summary inside
1. Chapter 1

To Seek Love or To Seek Ruin

Disclaimer: Never owned Jigoku Shoujo, and never will.

Warning: Mention of revenge and child abuse; failed suicide attempt; R. T: rating may go up.

Summary: Katrina Carson is haunted by memories of her past and present. Rumors spread about a certain website and she becomes haunted by dreams of this mysterious Hell Girl. Her father comes back and she wants revenge. Will she pull the red string or will she kill herself? What happens when she meets a certain person? Ichimoku Ren x OC

Chapter 1: Memories

A girl around age seventeen wakes up to the light shining through her bedroom curtains. School has been out for only three weeks and she still can't seem to sleep. During the night she's haunted by strange dreams of a different world and during the day she's haunted by her memories. It just seems like there's no relief and her group of friends hasn't noticed the change in her attitude. At any given time her thoughts would rotate around that mysterious world with those mysterious people and never rotate around boys like her friends.

Sighing, she gets out of bed and chooses a pair of black short shorts and a white tank top before heading off to take her daily shower. Once under the hot water she lets it run over her petite form and soak her hair thinking back on her strange dream.

Flashback

_She was outside in a field of red flowers and near her was a pond that seemed red from the sunset that had shined over head. In front of her two men, one woman, and two girls had appeared and the man with a fisher's hat asked a question._

"_How did you get here, young lady?" Katrina looked at him and tilted her head in confusion._

"_Where's here," she had asked and the girl in a sailor's uniform spoke up._

"_My home set in eternal twilight," she had said without any sign of emotion in her voice._

"_Jigoku Shoujo, Enma Ai…" The girl nodded and waited patiently for Katrina to answer her. "I was asleep and then…I'm here, but I don't understand why." She had explained with slight fear. Enma Ai's three assistants had gone off the offensive and on the defensive._

"_Do you understand you are in Hell, right now?" The young man in a jacket with hair over his left eye had asked. Katrina had shaked her head in confusion. _

"_Why would I be in Hell? Had I die? Did I commit a sin?" The woman, in a kimono, replied._

"_You're not dead. You have simply ventured to far from the real world. You must return now." Katrina, still having not understood, didn't know how to leave. Enma Ai had simply placed her index finger against Katrina's chest, where her heart would have been, and she woke back up in her room with several questions running through her head._

End flashback

Shaking her head to clear it, Katrina finishes washing off the remains of soap and conditioner from her hair and turns off the shower. Getting out, she dries herself and puts on her clothes before wrapping her shoulder length hair up in the towel. After this is done, she continues about her daily ritual before leaving the bathroom and turning off the light to head downstairs for breakfast.

As she grabs an apple and fixes waffles and coffee, she turns around to look out the kitchen window. It is still dark outside, but the sun is rising and it is the most beautiful sight she has ever seen. Unknowing to her, a large eye plastered against the ceiling is watching her.

* * *

"How long do you plan on watching her, Ren?" Hone-Onna asks a young man in a coat, sweat pants, and blue shirt with dark hair covering his left eye.

"Dunno. I guess long enough to know a little about her."

"She's not a client, Ren," Wanyadouu says sighing tiredly.

"I know, but there's something off about her. It's as if she wants to hate someone, but can't find it in herself to actually hate them."

"You mean like she wants to take revenge?" Hone-Onna asks curiously. "I don't understand. Do you think she will contact the site?" Ren shakes his head as his eye vanishes from the ceiling above Katrina's head.

"I don't know. That's what I want to find out."

"Hm…one would think that if their hate wasn't strong, they wouldn't broad on it." Wanyadouu says and they all nod in agreement. Then the old man goes on to say, "Then again, maybe she's thinking about how to see you again, kid." Ren shakes his head and Hone-Onna knocks the old man across the head. He only rubs his head and grins. Ai appears beside Hone-Onna.

"Would you like to get closer to her?" Ren turns to Ai as he wonders what she was asking.

"Well, no, but I would like the time to understand more about her."

"Is this okay, Mistress?" Hone-Onna asks Ai and Ai nods her head.

"I'll call you back when we have an assignment." Ren nods as all three people disappear. Now all he had to do was find a way to talk to her.

* * *

Katrina walks out of her house and locks the door before heading down the street to the bakery. Her mother had asked her to pick up some bread for their dinner tonight. Despite not liking her mother, she still did it so as not to upset her.

As she walks into the bakery she greets the baker and goes about looking around for a nice loaf of wheat bread and some good rolls. Going a step further, she picks out a batch of cookies for her mom before walking up to the cashier.

"Ah, Katrina-chan, how nice to see you again," the cashier greets. The woman has brown eyes and black hair that's pulled up into a messy bun and underneath a hairnet.

"Hi, Matsushita-san, how have you been?" Katrina asks kindly while the motherly woman rings up her items.

"Oh, you know this and that and busy as ever. It's hard running a family shop by yourself, you know." Katrina frowns at this as the motherly woman hands her items back in a plastic bag.

"Oh, but what happened to Kein-kun? I thought he was helping you today."

"Well, his dad came back and he had to meet him. Silly boys, right?" Katrina nods and smiles before paying her and walking out of the bakery. "Oh, Katrina," at the sound of her name she turns back around. "If you don't have anything to do today, and you're not busy with your sister or mom, would you mind coming back and helping me out? I think there might be a rush and it would be nice to have some company."

"Okay, Mrs. Matsushita! I'll text you my answer later, okay?"

"Alright dear and be careful!"

"I will!" With this, Katrina walks out the door humming to her self happily. 'I hope I'm not busy because I would love to help out. But, there may not be a rush.' She thinks sadly remembering that the small, family owned business may go out of business. Every year, less and less people came to get bakery goods.

When she walks back up the street and unlocks her door, she walks in and takes off her shoes. "Mother, I'm home!" Katrina shouts before walking into the kitchen to see her kid sister playing jacks in the floor. Placing the bag of bakery items on a kitchen counter, she walks over and picks up Mori who laughs at being picked up.

"Hey, let's not play jacks in the floor of the kitchen okay? We don't want mom to fall and get hurt."

"Okay onee-chan!" Mori says brightly before picking up the jacks and ball and placing them on the tabletop in the kitchen after Katrina places Mori back down again.

"Did you have breakfast yet?" Katrina asks Mori and she shakes her head. "Has mom gotten up yet?" Again, her kid sister shakes her head. "Okay, is there anything you want for breakfast?" Mori shakes her head saying she's not hungry and runs up the steps to her room. 'I wonder what that was all about.'

Walking upstairs, she goes her mother's room and shakes her gently. Still getting no response, she tries again with more force. She checks her pulse and notices that she's still breathing. 'That's weird…' Katrina thinks before the phone rings and she answers it.

"Hello?" A male's voice is heard on the other line.

"Hai, is this Katrina Carson?"

"Hai."

"Congratulations! You've just won the jackpot! Come to Auburn Lane Cross Roads at 3:30 this afternoon to claim your reward."

"Gomensai. You have the wrong number." She says and hangs up the phone. 'I never entered any contest…What a strange day this has been.' She thinks before she hears a knock on the door. Answering it, she sees her father and he barges in drunk before flopping down on the couch.

"Father? Why are you here? I thought you left us a month ago."

"I've come back."

"Why? You never cared for my sister and me before. Why now?" Katrina asks keeping her voice even. It has been a month since her parents had a major fight and a week since her mother filed for divorce. Although her mother hasn't signed the papers, it was agreed that her father was not to come back.

Before either of them could get another word in, her mom comes walking into the room. "Katrina, sweetie, what is this about?" She asks before noticing the man lounging on the couch. "Torishi, what are you doing here?" Her mom's voice was much sharper and more snappish than it had been when she was addressing Katrina.

"I want my daughters back, bitch!" Her father shouts getting back up and her mother shouts back.

"I told you no! Now get lost and never come back!" He doesn't listen and takes a step closer to her mom.

"Bitch! These are my children and I have custody over them!"

"Since when!?"

"Since today when I talked with my lawyer! Now give my children!"

"No!"

"What did you say you whore!?"

"I said no! Now leave!" At this her father becomes outraged and punches his wife across her face.

"I'm not leaving!" Before either of them could get another word in, Mori comes running down the steps and stops dead in her tracks when she sees mom and dad fighting.

"Mori, sweetie, why don't you go back upstairs while dad and I talk about adult things," Katrina's mother says gently and Katrina interrupts.

"Actually mother, father, I think we'll go to the park. C'mon Mori, let's go play at the park." Her younger sister, understanding that this was not a safe environment right now, agrees and runs out the door. Before Katrina leaves, however, she says one last thing to her parents.

"Before either of you continue your fight, remember this: If you hurt Mori, I'll never forgive either of you." Katrina says leaving the two baffled parents to themselves. The large eye that had been on the ceiling watching the whole scene vanishes.

Reaching her sister, Mori, they walk the rest of the way to the park. When they get to the park, Katrina goes under a willow tree and sits while Mori runs off to play in the sandbox. Seemingly out of no where, a guy appears beside her. He has green eyes and black hair that covers his left eye. He has a small smile and takes a seat beside Katrina who only nods her head; indicating that he can take a seat beside her.

"Is that your sister?" He asks a few minutes later pointing to a small girl with short blonde hair and light grey eyes.

"Yeah, she can be so mischievous sometimes. It makes me wonder how I can keep up with her." The guy looks over curiously expecting to see a frown but only seeing a smile on the girl's face.

"It doesn't look like you mind her."

"No. She's my kid sister; I can't be annoyed by her. She's a kid, after all; it's their job to annoy older people, right?" She says chuckling slightly. Again, the guy gives Katrina a side long glance before going back to watch her younger sister.

"Like you? Aren't you a kid?" He asks and she shrugs her shoulders.

"I'm more like an adult than anything else." He tilts his to the side as though thinking this over.

"But you don't look older than fourteen. Doesn't that make you a kid at heart?" Katrina frowns at this, leans against the trunk of the tree, and looks up at the sky.

"Well, I'm almost seventeen. So, I might be a kid at heart; but I'm more of an adult than a kid."

"Don't you have friends you hang out with?"

"No. It's just my mother and my sister and me. I'm too busy taking care of them to focus on things like friends." He frowns at this.

"What's your name?" He asks trying to find a change of subject having not like where the conversation was going.

"Katrina; your's?"

"Ren."

"So, how old are you then, Ren-san?" He smiles at this and looks up at the sky thinking about his age. 'Well, I think I'm reaching 400.'

"How old do you think I am?"

"Hm…I'd have to say no younger than fifteen and no older than seventeen." He laughs at this and Katrina looks at him in confusion.

"Actually, I'm nineteen," Ren says smiling at Katrina and she smiles back. Suddenly, a kid that looked oddly familiar comes walking up beside Mori. Both Ren and Katrina look down at them.

"Who have you got there, Mori?" The young ten year old smiles brightly.

"Her name's Kikuri!" Ren's visible eye moves up in slight surprise.

"Oh? I don't suppose you want to go home now?" Mori shakes her head and sits in front of her older sister smiling as if saying no. Kikuri looks at Ren with a loathing look; almost.

"Ren, you baka!" Ren stands up at this and mutters something dark under his breath while Kikuri only sticks her tongue out at him and kicks him in his knee. After this, before Ren could get his hands on the brat, Kikuri runs off laughing.

"Who's that?" Katrina asks curiously while Ren sits back down, sulking and nursing his hurt left knee.

"She's an annoying cousin of mine. She's only eight." Katrina's eyes shoot up in surprise.

"Oh? You two don't look alike. And I would've thought your cousin would be kind to you; with you being older and everything." He laughs bitterly at this while Mori runs off to find Kikuri after Katrina redid the single braid in Mori's hair.

"Well, cousins don't have to, right? And, she's not; she thinks I'm too bossy."

"Too bossy, huh? Well, are you?"

"No."

"Then why would she think that?"

"To annoy me, I guess."

"Huh. I don't think my sister would be able to say anything bad about me."

"Why's that?"

"Well…I nursed her back to health when she was really sick one time. I had to miss a whole day of school for it. My teacher thought I was skipping, so she gave me detention."

"Did you try to explain the situation to her?"

"Yeah. She wouldn't believe me, though." Ren tilts his head at this and goes to ask another question before Katrina sees her father storm into the park and head for Mori; looking intent on stealing her younger sister. "Oh no…sorry, Ren-san, please excuse me!" She says trotting off to get her sister from the slide and under the willow tree before her father spotted them; knowing that it was already too late as he switches course heading for the willow tree.

When she gets back, it's too see Ren standing up and leaning against the tree with a rigid posture. As Katrina gets near him, he looks over and asks her who that angry looking guy is.

"He's my father. My mother and he got into an argument earlier," she briefly explains and Ren's expression quickly turns from curious to serious. _Why does he look like he's ready to kill? Dose he have a knife or gun on him?_

"Is that why you brought your sister to the park?" Katrina nods her head and pales slightly and pulls her sister closer to her upon seeing her dad getting closer to the willow tree. Ren, noticing this, looks back at the father and frowns slightly trying to figure out what would make a person look ready to kill from an argument and if her father would really kill his daughters.

As her dad gets closer and closer to the tree, Katrina gets paler and Mori begins to cry softly, but quietly. Katrina tries to calm her down as her father reaches the tree and sends a glare at her before narrowing his eyes farther at seeing Ren beside her. When he's three feet from Katrina he stops his advance and scowls.

"What do you think you're doing?" Katrina, paling further at her father's stone cold voice straightens up a tad bit more; switching from rocking Mori back and forth to placing her behind her back and holding her younger sister's small hand.

"Letting Mori play in the park and sitting under the tree talking to a friend from school. What about mother?" Her dad grunts at this and, completely ignoring Katrina's question turns to Ren. Ren couldn't tell whether he should be more surprised about Katrina's cover for him or how vengeful her father looks.

"What's your name?" Ren is taken aback by how angry Katrina's father sounds. _What did I do to him? _

"Ishimoto Ren, sir," he says bowing respectfully. The father only huffs and rounds on his daughter.

"You're dating _him_? He looks like a delinquent. I will not have my daughter dating some… skater drug addict!" Ren narrows his eye at this. _What's wrong with him? He doesn't understand polite, does he? Has the world really become engrossed in hatered?_

"Father…please, you're causing a scene…" Katrina whispers almost too quite and her father gets even more angry.

"_I'm_ causing a scene!? _You're_ the one who's dating some drug addict! How is that supposed to make _me_ look?" Katrina shrinks at this and Mori starts to cry again. "Shut that damn _brat_ up! You're drawing unwanted attention!" Ren narrows his eye dangerously and turns sharply to the parent. _That's not something a person, especially a parent, should say that about a kid or their teenage daughter._

"Father!" Katrina says harshly as Mori cries harder. She then turns to Ren muttering an apology for her father's rudeness. Deciding that this has gone far enough, he intervenes.

"With all due respect, sir, I believe that you should calm down." The father whips his head at him and balls up his fists; shaking with visible rage.

"Shut up! I will not have _you_ speak to _me_ like that!" Before Katrina could say anything, her dad throws several punches and kicks at Ren with Ren dodging each and every one of them flawlessly.

"Please, _sir_, let's not fight." He tries again, albeit harsher, as he dodges yet another punch aimed for his head. Katrina's father stops seeing that it's pointless and walks angrily away. Ren, looking back at Katrina and Mori now sees both girls crying lightly. Ren goes down to comfort both, but Katrina asks him if he can watch Mori while she gets something. He agrees wondering why a father would act that way towards his own children and why his oldest daughter would be scared to stand up against him.

When Katrina comes back, it's to have ice cream in her hands. While Mori jumps up and takes the blue raspberry slushie, Katrina sits down beside Ren handing him a mint chocolate chip cone.

"I didn't know what kind of ice cream you liked, or if you could have it at all, but I decided that you looked like the kind of person who likes chocolate and mint, so I got that for you," she explains at Ren's questioning look. He thanks her wondering idly how she could've known it used to be his favorite.

After they finish their ice cream and Mori falls asleep on Katrina's lap Ren turns to her curiously.

"Thanks again for ice cream, Katrina-san," he starts and she nods her head in welcome. "I've been wondering, however, is your father always like that?" Her face falls and she absentmindedly runs her fingers through her younger sister's hair.

"He wasn't always like that….He was really kind until….Mother got sick and couldn't work anymore. He ran off when this happened. I was fifteen and Mori was five."

"Oh…Gomensai…I shouldn't have asked…"

"No, no, its fine, Ren-san; arigato for turning my father away," Katrina says smiling slightly at Ren.

"You're welcome," Ren says before silence resumes. After a while of this, Katrina breaks the silence pausing in her movements before looking over at Ren and saying something about his good looks making Ren blush slightly and her giggle.

"You know…I thought about it." Ren turns his head at this looking curiously at Katrina. "The site…Jigoku Tsushin. You know about the rumor, right?" Ren nods at this and Katrina goes on.

"Well, I want to send my father to Hell, where he belongs, but then I wonder is it really worth sending him to Hell? What will that accomplish?"

"It'll keep him from hurting you, your sister, and your mother," Ren offers wondering where Katrina is going with this.

"That's true, but…I still love him and I know that my real father exists somewhere deep inside that shell of a man. If I send him to Hell, I may never be able to reach that part of him. On the other hand….I don't know how long I'll last. What with my mother sick, my little sister starting school again soon, my studies…I still haven't found a job yet. There are bills to be paid…it just seems like there's no escape!" She finally shouts jumping on Ren and hugging him tightly.

He pats her back awkwardly not sure how to comfort a crying teenage girl. Mori startles at this and tugs on her onee-chan's shirt. A tearful Katrina looks down and she smiles weakly trying to reassure her younger sister everything's fine even though it isn't and she knows that Mori knows everything is not fine.

An hour passes by and Mori falls back asleep while Katrina falls asleep on Ren's shoulder and he adjusts to free his, now numb, arm and places it around Katrina's shoulders. Hone-Onna comes up at this and chuckles making Ren looking up.

"You really did want to get _closer_ to Katrina-chan, didn't you?" Ren is torn between blushing and shaking his head at this so he settles on a sheepish smile while Hone-Onna tilts her head curiously wondering if she interrupted something.

"No," he starts in what would have been a firm voice, but only managing a shakey one while trying to hide his slight blush before frowning. Hone-Onna watches in humor as Ren struggles to hide his blush and then notices the sudden frown. "She wants to access the site, but she doesn't want to send her father to Hell. Even if she does, she said she wouldn't feel any different. Then she turned around and said that she doesn't know how long she can take the pressure of keeping her family functional. It's really sad, Hone."

"A girl that age has to take care of her family instead of being able to have fun? Kid, are you sure that's what she said? Or are you just making this up so you can stay longer with her?" Wanyuudo asks Ren and he blushes while stuttering trying to get at least some coherent words out before finally nodding his head and the frown coming back. This makes the old man laugh and then grow serious.

"At least she thinks of you as a pillow. Are you two going to go out after this?" All of them laugh at this and Ren tries to hide his blush again looking down at Katrina. Ai then appears and says they have an assignment. They all nod while Ren takes his jacket off and put it on over Katrina's shoulders before they all vanish.

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**Author's Note.**

Hey, been a while since I really posted anything up. When I started reading some fan fiction of Jigoku Shoujo, I just had to write something of my own. I hope I kept Hone-Onna, Wanyuudo, Ren, Kikuri, and Ai in character for the most part. I'm not sure if I should continue this story or not. Your feedback would be helpful and very much appreciated. This isn't really a humorous subject, but I'll try to insert some amount of humor into this. ^.^ Another thing you all should know, my computer has been acting weird and sometimes I would have to shut it down for a while. So, updates may get slower.

If you think this story should have a higher rating, then tell me so so I can change it. Hm. As another warning: This will go from bright to dark, graphic to vague depending on the content of the chapter. Please excuse me for any misspellings of the Jigoku Shoujo characters' names.

And, as always, review help and alerts are better.

Thank you for those who review as well.

truly,

ferret nin (a fan girl of Ichimoku Ren, sadly .) lol


	2. Chapter 2

**To Seek Love or To Seek Ruin**

**Disclaimer: Jigoku Shoujo (Hell Girl) doesn't belong to me. I wish it did so I can have Ren-kun all to myself tho. **

**Warning: Mentioned child abuse, cursing, hate and angst. Still rated T; for now at least**

**Sum: refer to prev. chap.

* * *

**

**Chapter 2: Discoveries**

Katrina wakes up to Mori poking her forehead. Groggily, she pushes her sister away and looks around her. The park is getting dark as the sun is setting, casting an eerie glow of red-orange and gold across the grounds. She then looks to her sister who seems bothered by something; if the worried look on Mori's face is anything to go by.

"Mmm…how long have I been asleep?" She asks her younger sister who doesn't respond at first. This makes Katrina get a bit nervous; has something happened between her falling asleep and waking up? "Mori-chan, how long have I been asleep?" This time her kid sister responds.

"I think for an hour or three. Ren-san left; he's not here. I think he left his jacket." At this announcement Katrina looks around and sees that Ren is certainly gone and nowhere in site. 'Huh, maybe he got up and left or had something to do and couldn't stay?'

It is now that Katrina feels a light weight jacket on her shoulders. Shrugging the said item off, she takes it in her hands and turns it around to find out that, yes, this is indeed Ren's jacket. 'How sweet and thoughtful of him,' she thinks before getting up and telling Mori it's time to go home before mom gets worried. She puts Ren's jacket back on over her and then frowns upon seeing her sister's pursed lips.

"Mom wouldn't care and neither would dad." Katrina only sighs in reply and tells her sister to climb onto her back and Mori can sleep while Katrina makes the longish trip to their house.

Mori does this and simultaneously falls asleep with her arms wrapped around Katrina's neck. Katrina then adjusts to the new wait on her back and wraps her petite arms around her younger sister's legs. After shifting Mori one more time so she wouldn't drop her, Katrina heads on home thinking about how she's going to deal with their father and mother at home.

Ren comes back to the park only to see that Katrina left along with her sister. "They must be going home," he decides before walking down the path that leads out of the park. "She took my jacket as well…" he notices upon realizing how cold it was getting. It's not like he minded, however, because he did put his jacket around Katrina and it would only make sense that she would take it with her so it wouldn't possibly be stolen. 'I guess this means I should find her then. She couldn't have gotten too far by now,' nodding to himself, Ren continues down the path that leads out of the park and down Auburn Lane where he's sure Katrina would take to get home.

As Katrina nears their house, she spots a cat sitting on the corner of Auburn Lane and goes to it. She notices that the cat has brown fur with a patch of white fur on top of its head and a white tipped tail. The feline also has black paws and ears, a black ring of fur around its right eye, and large eyes that are emerald in color and it is a male. Said animal only stares at Katrina in interest before walking up, nudging the bottom of her shin with its pink little nose, and meowing once and then twice.

"Aw…what are you doing out here little guy? Are you lost? Do you have an owner that's looking for you?" As if answering all of her questions at once he meows and looks at her with sad eyes before pawing at her pants leg. "Are you hungry; would you like something to eat?" He continues to looks at her and meows before nudging her shin. Assuming that he's hungry, she encourages the cat to follow her home.

Just as she turns the corner of 22nd street, where the bakery and her house are, someone calls out her name. Looking behind her, she sees a young man with dark hair covering half his face and his right eye showing heading straight for her. Scared, she ducks into the bakery with the cat and alerts Matsushita-san about the guy that's following her. Matsushita then ushers Katrina, Mori, and this cat behind the counter and takes charge of holding her younger sister who's still sleeping. Not even a minute later the guy comes in, panting, asking to speak to Katrina.

"What's you name, sir?"

"Ichimoku Ren, ma'am," the now identified guy says still trying to catch his breath. _Why did I have to run to get to her? Is she really that fast?_

"Do you know him, Katrina-chan?" Katrina smiles at Matsushita and replies kindly; all her fear gone.

"Hai; he's the guy I met in the park earlier today." Matsushita nods and then asks Ren a question.

"So, how did you meet Katrina-chan?" Taking a deep breath Ren then explains.

"We met under the willow tree in the park and she told me about her parents fighting so I comforted her. I had to leave for awhile, so I put my jacket around her incase she happened to get cold while I was gone. I came back and she wasn't there so I assumed she went down Auburn Lane since that's the closest street to that part of the park and where her house might be. I saw her at the end so I went to catch up with her and I guessed I scared her. Gomen, Katrina-san…" He explains taking in another deep breath before exhaling and finally managing to catch his breath.

"Is this true, Katrina-chan?"

"Hai, Matsushita-san," she replies cheerfully before turning to Ren. "No, it's alright; I mean it's my fault since I "stole" your jacket. Oh! Here it is, by the way," she finishes handing his jacket back to him. He accepts it and they share a few words before Mori finally wakes up and points out the cat.

"Oh, that's right…I found him on the corner of Auburn Lane alone and he seemed hungry so I was taking him home when I realized that I was being followed/chased and ducked in here. I'm surprised the little guy still stayed with me. I'm sure he's really hungry." Once Katrina explains this Matsushita quickly fetches some water and food for the cat while Mori plays with him.

After the cat is fed and watered he goes on to investigate the bakery and the new smells while Mori goes off and starts to play with him.

"So, you didn't name him yet?" Ren asks leaning against the wall and turning his attention from Mori and the cat to Katrina and Matsushita.

"No. I haven't thought of a really good name yet," Katrina admits looking back at Ren.

"You mean you haven't given the poor creature a name?" Matsushita asks as her mother hen side comes out.

"Well, I'm not sure what to name him. Plus, he might already have a name."

"But," Ren starts confused. "If he's not owned, then he wouldn't have a name, right?"

"What if he is owned and already has a name? I don't think its right to rename someone else's pet." Ren nods his head at Katrina's statement and then Matsushita goes to say something only to be cut off by Mori.

"Kuri! Let's name him Kuri!" All three look at Mori when she says this. Katrina tilts her head to the side.

"As in Chestnut?" Mori shakes her head excitedly and Katrina mulls it over.

"I think Kuri is a good name for him," Ren offers as Katrina is about to make her decision. Before this is official she looks over to Matsushita as if this is a good name for a boy cat. After all, she does have a son, a husband and three male dogs.

"Hm…Chestnut is a good name for him. His fur almost represents the name." Katrina nods at this and attempts to call him over. Upon hearing the name, Kuri quickly pads over and mews happily making all four people smile.

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After Katrina says goodbye to Matsushita her and Ren head off with Chestnut and Mori to her house. As much as Katrina said she'd be alright walking by herself, Ren convinced her that with how dark it is any creep on the street could attack her and harm the cat and her sister. So, Katrina finally agreed and now they're heading to her house which Ren guessed the location of.

"Don't you think the moon is beautiful?" Katrina asks while picking Mori up and carrying her on her back again. Ren looks over at Katrina to see her staring up at the moon and then looks at the full moon that seems to be casting an array of silver water across the street.

"Yeah, it is beautiful. Do you always watch the moon in the sky or is it only the full moon?" He asks catching sight of Kikuri on the top of the telephone pole sitting and then he frowns slightly.

"Well, I tend to like the moon in general, even the other phases, but the full moon is my favorite of all. There's something majestic about it. It's like the moon's shrouded in mystery and the water-like rays of silver mercury are coating everything in its long, spider-like fingers way." Ren takes a moment to form the image inside his head and notices just how imaginative Katrina is. Meanwhile, Katrina stays silent looking straight ahead of her wondering what Ren's reaction will be.

"You know," Katrina looks back at Ren to see half his face covered in shadow and his longing look. "You can really make it as a poet; maybe an author of fiction. Ever thought of writing?"

"Actually, I did consider it once, but I can't for the life of me recall how to describe things without giving the whole image away. As for poems, I like to write them, but reading them is my favorite past time. I think its interesting how one person can see something totally different from another person's perspective." Ren thinks this over as they walk the rest of the way to Katrina's house in silence. Despite this being a city, that's usually busy at this hour, Ren thinks it too quiet. There's not a single trace of sound; even the light wind seemed to die off.

As an unnatural chill falls around them, Katrina holds her sister tighter and the cat, Kuri, stays closer to all three of them. _Not again…why does it have to be here of all the times? Can't they just leave me alone? Why can't they find the path on their own? _She mentally groans as a lost looking kid shows up right in front of her house. The kid is a little girl, no older then ten, and has solid black eyes, no pupils, elegant and long white hair that's tied back into a complex bun of sorts.

Her clothes consist of a pink and black plaid miniskirt, fishnet stockings, blood red arm warmers, and a solid purple tee shirt with the words, "Hate masks our world, but love destroys." As Katrina looks further up the girl's body she notices the black skull choker and diamond, green belt tilted sideways.

"Help me find someone. I think I'm lost," is all the ten year old girl says; her voice is a muffled moan of despair. Before Katrina can say anything, Ren replies.

"Who are you looking for?" As the girl shifts her black eyes to him and then to the alley way she smiles revealing her sharp teeth. Katrina gets wary knowing that not only is the kid a lost soul, but a soul bent on Hell becoming a demon and is trying to 'find' a way to Hell.

"Ren-san…c'mon, we should head home…it's getting really dark," she tries but Ren is not listening and just staring off at the strange girl. _Hopefully he won't fall for her tricks…lost souls have been known to either kill people like they were killed or trick people into being vulnerable and dragging them down to Hell with them; if it's a demon which the girl is._

"You have no right to control other people, Katrina. After all, you can't keep your own control over your life," the girl states completely ignoring Ren in favor of teasing the medium. Demons who are lost souls or pretend to be often seek out mediums to, not help them with their issues, but for torture and insanity purposes. This is why when mediums see a lost soul who's a demon or becoming one they move on; otherwise they could find themselves at the bottom of the lake dead…or worse.

"Katrina-san… what is she talking about?"

"Ren-san, I want you to walk in the opposite direction and keep your eyes on Georgie. She's a demon in disguise and is looking for her next victim or victims." Ren raises his eyebrows at this statement clearly surprised that Katrina was a medium. He's a demon himself and yet she hasn't noticed that? Before he had much more time to think, he sees Katrina take out a poltergeist catholic cross and crosses herself before holding it at arms' length.

"In the name of our Holy creator, I demand you be gone. Demon, you have no right to be here and thus you are to move on or I will have to harm you. Georgie Magenta Vulkan, I command you by the power invested in me and the son of the Holy Spirit and the savior to be gone! Go back to your world and in your rightful place; demon traveler of Hades and the underworld…be gone!" (note: this should be in Latin, but I'm not familiar enough with the language to use it, sadly. XD) With this chant complete Georgie vanishes after hissing and threatening Katrina.

Using the remaining reserves of her spiritual energy, she scans the surrounding area to make sure the demon is gone for good. Despite there being slight traces of the demon, she knows it will be a good while before Georgie shows back up again. Katrina looks back to Ren wondering what he will think of her now. _Will he think I'm freak? Will he leave me and never look back? Why do I have to be medium and sacrifice my social life with undead spirits that are half of the time ungrateful?_

"How long then," Ren only asks giving no sign of saying anything else. She notices he's gone rigid again and sees a slight frown on his face. She sighs tiredly and Ren continues to stare off into the distance. Putting her cross away and moving her powers to her mind instead of her soul she turns to look at him in the eyes. He also turns and looks into her eyes.

"How long what?" Ren only sighs in return and Katrina sees neither ridicule nor disgust, but understanding and empathy.

"How long have you been a medium?"

"Ever since I can remember. You don't like me anymore; you think I'm a freak, right?"

"No. No, I don't think you're a freak, Katrina-san. Do you know more about me than you're letting on to?"

"No. I only know what you told me. Other then that, I don't know anything else; should I know something else?" Ren looks at Katrina's stern gaze and confused expression.

"I was just wondering. There really isn't anything else for you to know about me except for the fact I love cats." This makes Katrina laugh and Ren fakes a glare.

"What's so funny?"

"I-it's nothing, Ren-san; n-nothing a-at all," she manages between laughs and Ren laughs at this knowing how 'womanly' that sounded. He honestly does like cats, but to get this reaction from Katrina- or any other person for that matter- was new and interesting. After all, he doesn't understand humans and is Katrina really a human or is she something more?

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**AN: So, did I confuse anyone or lost my reviewers for this story? I didn't want to say anything in the last chapter about her being a medium because I figured it would ruin the fun of this chapter. Even though this isn't a very humorous subject, I'm trying my best to insert humor. On that note, review and tell me what you think about this chapter and if I should still continue this story. ^^ Oh, and if anyone's confused, just PM me, k? So, until next time, bye!**

**~~ferret nin**


	3. Petition

**To all of those waiting and expecting an update, I'm sorry to do this to you. However, this is important. **

IMPORTANT: Fan-fiction is still deleting stories that contain yaoi, yuri,  
lemons, violence, stories based on songs, and any detailed sex  
scenes so…just about every story on the site. Most everyone knows of the  
petition going around. If you haven't signed it, the link is www . change .  
org /petitions/fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net  
Please remove spaces and sign petition so they don't remove mature content  
including fics and accounts. But there is more we can do.  
someones organizing a Black Out Day. On June 23rd(according to GTM timing, so  
that we know we're doing it together), do NOT go onto fan-fiction. Don't read,  
don't review, don't message your friends, don't update. If enough people  
participate, then the site will notice, and will realize we take our stories seriously.

Please spread the word any way you can, in any fandom! And let me know if  
you're going to join. The motto is "Unleash Your Imagination." How can we if  
we're being given a LONG list of what we cannot write?  
June 23rd. Remember it. Please! Fanfiction isn't going down without a  
fight!

**If decides to go through with deleting all the stories that contain such content or have an M rating, several authors, including me, might end up losing their accounts or all of the stories they've worked the hardest on. Please pass this on. will not get away with this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**To Seek Love or To Seek Ruin**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Jigoku Shoujo, thus I do not make any money off this story. I just have fun with characters from time to time.

**Warnings:** Slightly dark, mentions_ possible_ character death, and may be difficult to follow at times. Rated T.

**Summary:** Katrina Carson is haunted by memories of her past and present. Rumors spread about a certain website and she becomes haunted by dreams of this mysterious Hell Girl. Her father comes back and she wants revenge. Will she pull the red string or will she kill herself? What happens when she meets a certain person? Ichimoku Ren x OC

**Short AN:** Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I've updated and everything, but I hope I haven't lost you guys. I want to thank you for all of your support through reviews, alerts, and favorites. I wasn't and haven't been in a very good spot life wise but I'm doing much better now and, since school is finally out, I won't have anything keeping me from updating! Yay! With that said, I hope you enjoy the third installment of To Seek Love or To Seek Ruin! PS: Please forgive any missing words, mixed letters, or mistakes (I suffer from minor to moderate dyslexia and dyspraxia so typos are a natural thing sometimes; hopefully not all the time!)

**Chapter 3: Nightmare or Premonition?**

* * *

The next morning Katrina wakes up and groans. Last night did a number on her energy; physically, mentally, and emotionally. She hates dealing with lost souls that are demons in disguise. They are the most taxing entities she has ever come across. As she rolls over she goes over all of yesterdays and last night's events.

First she woke up and went to the bakery, like her mother asked for. Her father shows up, her parents argue, and she takes Mori to the nearby park. She meets nineteen year old Ren Ichimoku , he asks a her few curious questions, she confides her hatred or dislike for her father in him, and tells him that she's thinking about accessing the site even though she thinks it won't help her situation at all. Her dad angrily stomps into the park and heads for Mori on the slide. Katrina saves Mori but accidently leads her father to the willow tree. He screams and yells at her and Ren and accuses Ren of being a drug addict. Her father throws punches at Ren but Ren dodges each and every one of them effortlessly. Her father eventually gives up and leaves but Katrina bursts into tears with Mori. Ren comforts her, she falls asleep, and he eventually leaves.

She and Mori head home, Ren returns and catches her as she reaches the end of the street, and she freaks out and runs into the bakery near her house. She, Ren, Mori, and the stray cat Katrina found head back home after Ren insisted to walk her home. Mori falls asleep on Katrina's back and Ren and Katrina have a rather deep conversation. Georgie shows up, Ren learns that she's a Medium, and he asks her a strange question that he later plays off as being curiosity. Finally, she goes home and walks inside the house with Kuri, the stray cat she found and later named 'Chestnut' for his fur color. Her father is nowhere in sight and her mother is dead asleep upstairs. She tucks Mori into bed, gives the Kuri some water, food, and makes a makeshift litter box using a small amount of sand from the bag of sand in her father's shed and a plastic box.

Katrina rolls back to her other side and groans. She will have to get buy supplies for Kuri today, get some groceries, and take care of her mother some more. As she closes her eyes in an attempt to go back to sleep that same scene from the other night pops up into her head. The guy in a jacket with hair over his left eye looks familiar but she can't place where she's seen him before. She gives up on trying to go back to sleep and instead gets ready for the day.

As she walks downstairs she receives a shock; her mother is up and about making pancakes. Katrina rubs her tired eyes to make sure they're not deceiving her and smiles happily.

"Good morning, mother." Her mother turns around and smiles in return.

"Good morning, daughter. Would you like some pancakes?" Katrina nods her head. Her mother puts a plate down in front of her and continues to work on the stove. "Thank you for going to the bakery yesterday to pick up some bread for me, Katrina. I'm sorry about your father. I put a restraining order against him last night before you got home so he won't be back. Also, I finally signed the divorce papers. We are officially divorced." Katrina blinks a couple times in both shock and confusion.

"Really," Katrina asks skeptically. Her mother smiles happily again.

"Really," Katrina jumps up and down in joy.

"That's great, mother! I'm glad the bastard's gone." Her mother frowns at this.

"I wouldn't call him a bastard, Katrina. He was a kind man at one point in his life." Katrina quickly sobers up.

"Maybe, but I'm still happy nonetheless."

"Oh, me too; and the best thing about the divorce is that I get full custody of both of you." The mother and daughter sit in a comfortable silence for a while until her mother breaks it. "Katrina, do you mind waking Mori up?"

"Not at all, mother." Katrina gets up and heads to her younger sister's room. She doesn't see the frown on her mother's face.

Katrina slowly walks into Mori's room and sees that same girl from yesterday. What's Ren's cousin doing in here…? The girl, Kikuri, catches site of Katrina and immediately runs out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door. Katrina blinks. Weird. She shakes off this encounter and starts waking up Mori. Mori just rolls over to her other side so her back is facing the door and mutters something unintelligent.

"Mori-chan," Katrina starts, "Mori-chan, it's time to get up. C'mon Mori-chan, get up. Mom's up." Again, Mori just mumbles something and goes back to sleep. Katrina frowns. Finally, she just picks Mori up and carries her down the steps. Mori starts to stir in Katrina's arms and starts to frantically mutter, "Hell, Hell, Hell." The chant makes Katrina extremely unnerved. Then, Katrina puts Mori down on a chair in the kitchen and she finally wakes up fully aware of everything.

"Mom," the girl shouts and jumps out of the chair to hug her mother around the legs. The woman in question just laughs lightly.

"You didn't have any trouble waking her, did you, Katrina-chan?"

"No, mother," she blatantly lies.

Once their mother finally finishes making pancakes she hugs Mori tightly and tells her the terrific news. Mori jumps up and down in the air and Katrina sees a true smile grace her younger sibling's soft and rounded face. The giant eye that has been plastered against the ceiling all this time vanishes.

Hone-Onna, Ren, and Wayuundo look at each other curiously. Ren decides to start first.

"Their parents are getting a divorce." The other two nod at this.

"That's a great thing then, isn't it?" Hone-Onna asks.

"I don't know. When the mother said this and Katrina-chan left the room she frowned. Then she muttered 'It's not so much a divorce, but they don't need to know that.' You don't think she's going to contact the site herself, do you?" Ren asks curiously. The other two shrug at this.

"Human emotions are so complex it's hard to tell what she meant by that." Wayuundo says. Then, much to everyone's displeasure, Kikuri appears.

"If she pulls the string, she's going to die!" The other three blink curiously at this.

"How do you know, anyway?" Ren bites back bitterly. Kikuri turns her violet eyes on him and smirks evilly.

"Because I just do!" Ren scoffs at her childish reply. Then Ai appears and says, "We have a case."

As Katrina heads to the park with Mori, her younger sister begins to cough violently. Katrina begins to panic when she sees that Mori can't breathe. Finally, just as soon as Mori's coughing fit appears, it vanishes. Katrina kneels beside her younger sister on the sidewalk and asks if she is okay. Mori shakes violently for a while before she points a shaky finger straight ahead. Katrina frowns as she looks in the direction Mori is pointing; there is nothing there. After a while, the color starts to come back in Mori's face. Wordlessly, Katrina picks up her younger sister and carries Mori the rest of the way to the park. The two sisters say nothing about the freak occurrence and pretend it never happened.

Before Katrina lets Mori run off and play, she checks to make sure her younger sister is all right. When everything checks out, Mori runs and heads straight for the swings. Katrina looks around and finds it odd how almost no one is at the park. Then, she suddenly becomes overwhelmingly tired and falls asleep.

_Katrina looks on sadly as her younger sister is hooked up to life preserving machines. Every time the heart monitor slows down to a two-minute interval Katrina thinks Mori is dying. Not too long ago the doctor announced that Mori was in stage four kidney failure; they had to put her on emergency dialysis otherwise Mori would surely die. Now as she watches the machine suck out the black flecked blood and insert clean, new blood she ponders how no one knew Mori was slowly dying. Katrina remembers the doctor's confused look on his face when he found that Mori never was diabetic nor did diabetes run in the family. He told her mother the fact that a child as young as Mori had fallen victim to kidney failure with no history of diabetes is extremely rare, almost paranormal. Of course, he added the last comment as an exaggerated joke which neither Katrina nor her mother thought was funny. _

_ Katrina shakes the painful memory from her head and stares on through the glass. It has been four months since then and Mori has still not gotten better. Mori looks so peaceful that, for a brief moment, Katrina can believe her younger sister is just asleep. However, that fantasy shatters as the hospital bills and insurance bills are too real for Mori to be asleep. Recently Katrina had to pick up two jobs with her mother just to help pay off the bills. She rarely shows up to school now and university looks to be out of the question in the future because no higher education school would want a student that rarely shows up to school, no matter how well she keeps up with the school work and keeps her high grades._

_ Fortunately, her mother's parents are helping to pay the bills but how long can that really last? Eventually they will run out of money and Katrina, her mother, and Mori will pay the price; plus, insurance only pays a quarter of the cost and leaves the other seventy-five percent up to Katrina, her mother, and her grandparents to pay out of pocket, on top of utilities, food, and rent. It won't be long now before Katrina and her mother will have no choice to either quit treatment or move in with her grandparents. Which really wouldn't be too bad but Katrina still doesn't like the thought of having to burden her grandparents with their presence. After all, Katrina and her mother would be two more mouths to feed; especially when the fact that hospital and insurance bills still have to be paid are considered._

_ "Still no sign of recovery?" A young male's voice says, startling Katrina out of her thoughts. _

_ "No, Ren," Katrina answers sadly, her eyes never leaving Mori._

_ "You don't think she is going to die, do you?" He places a comforting hand on Katrina's shoulder as he asks this. _

_ "I really don't know, Ren. It's been four months now and the dialysis is still not working."_

_ "She will make it, Katrina. I promise you." Katrina turns around and glares at Ren._

_ "How do you know?"_

_ "I just do. I have that feeling." Katrina scoffs but says nothing more. _

Katrina suddenly wakes up and looks at the orange sky. She begins to panic and look towards the swings; Mori is no longer there. She immediately gets up and runs over to the playground only to breathe a sigh of relief when she sees Mori playing on the jungle gym with Ren; Kikuri is nowhere to be seen. Katrina happily walks up and Mori quickly climbs off the jungle gym and hugs Katrina tightly.

"Oh, you're awake," Ren says kindly.

"Yeah; how long have you been here?"

"For about a couple hours now. I saw you were asleep and you looked tired so I didn't bother you. Mori was happy to see me and I pushed her on the swing for a while before we went over to the jungle gym." Ren smiles at her and she returns his friendly gesture.

"Well, thank you for watching her. I should have been keeping an eye on her, but I was just so inexplicably tired—I don't know what happened," Katrina admits sheepishly.

"Anytime; I love children," Ren easily says. Katrina smiles brightly and decides that it's time to go home.

Katrina let's Mori run inside and turns around to Ren when they reach her stoop. Ren raises his eyebrows slightly. "Hey Ren, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" Ren frowns slightly but agrees anyway. Katrina sits down on the banister and Ren leans against a nearby light post.

"So, what did you want talk about," he asks pleasantly. Katrina frowns slightly.

"Well, I had this bizarre dream right before I woke up. Mori-chan was in the hospital hooked up to all kinds of machinery, as she had to undergo emergency treatment for stage four-kidney failure. She was four months into the treatment and she still showed no signs of getting better. Well, mom and I were struggling to pay the hospital bills so we both had to pick up two jobs just to pay them off and even then, my grandparents had to help us. Everything looked like it was just getting worse and it seemed that mom and I were going to be forced to make a decision—move in with my grandparents, her parents, or stop the treatments and let Mori die. As I was looking at Mori-chan from behind the hospital glass, you walked up behind me and told me that she was going to better just because you had a feeling she was. Then I woke up." Ren, who has been paying apt attention to Katrina this entire time, frowns.

"I'm sure it was just a dream, Katrina-chan. I wouldn't think too much about it," he says in an honest attempt to comfort her. Katrian shakes her head in disagreement.

"That's the odd thing about it; it didn't feel like a dream…it felt…more like a premonition. I get them sometimes…" Ren frowns at this comment.

"Well, I'm sure that's not the case. The way it sounds to me, it's more a nightmare then premonition." Katrina smiles at his comment.

"Thanks Ren, you always seem to make me feel better," she says as she hugs him. He freezes slightly before he hesitantly returns the hug. 'How long will it be before she figures out that I'm not actually human,' he asks himself as he looks out over her shoulder. After all, she is a medium.

* * *

**A/N: Dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnn! I've finally updated this story! :D It took a long time as no matter what I did I just wasn't happy with it. In all honesty, I'm still not very happy with it. However, I carefully checked it over. It seems to make sense and it appears it does not need any further edits. I could be wrong, so do tell me kindly! I don't accept flames as they are discouraging, make me want to quit updating, and are very unhelpful. Anyway, thank you for all of those reviews, favorites, follows, and alerts! They are what give me the drive to actually update and finish stories. **

**To celebrate, I know it will be lengthy and tedious to some, but I plan to make a special call out to all of you guys out there (if you still are) from when I first published this story because it means that much to me (I suffer from minor dyspraxia and dyslexia so forgive me for any mistakes in pen names). :D So…**

**Story Followers: epicotaku13, Tammiefire, Julietta17, ookami117, Redangel14, Ulquihimefan1, MindComplexity, SilverNeira, I love Aisu, suney, Kristen1997, Wolf Princess of the moon, Edge End, darkninjakitty10, Plumalchemyst, , Ayame Hikari, Amaris Solbes**

**Story Favoriters: chasesgirl12, Julietta17, Redangel14, Tammifire, Ulquihimefan1, Kira-Enma, I love Aisu, Koori Fenikkusu, RavenSlayer, animefangirl10219, AnimeFlowerGirl, Kristen1997, Nightshade07, NightingalesDream, Plumalchemyst**

**Reviewers: Fox Alder, Nate-san, AyameHikari, Jigoku fan girl, Plumalchemyst, Nightshade07, Zachi, koyo-hime, I love Aisu, SliverNeira**

**Thank you guys. I look forward to seeing new names as well! :D**

**With love and care,**

**ferret nin**


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